Bala Rebbe's Blog
"Bala Rebbe is the nom de plume of Arnie Feldman, a member of Beth Am Israel, who is given full credit for all wisdom, and is solely responsible for all foolishness, that may appear from time to time on this blog. Bala Rebbe's opinions and writings are solely those of the Bala Rebbe (with occasional Divine inspiration), and are not necessarily endorsed, sponsored or approved by Beth Am Israel."02/22/2010 - Chazzan Harold`s Dilemma
On 02/25/2010 Bala Rebbe said...
On 03/12/2010 Bala Rebbe said...
Arnie bubbalah,
We are back from our Yellow Submarine Cruise. Now as far as the puppets go, you were a victim of a Puppet Purim Prank. No court case. The Hazzan and the puppets worked together to make the video about puppets in the sanctuary.
This teaching of the Lubavitcher Rebbe is for you and everyone.
A Purim Meditation
"The world is absurd. Ugly absurd.
To repair ugly absurdity, you can't just be normal. You need an alternative absurdity. A beautiful absurdity.
We call it 'divine madness.'"
May we all be Divinely Mad this Purim. Amen.
Der Bala Rebbe
Beloved Rebbe,On 03/14/2010 Bala Rebbe said...
Though I rejoice, as do we all, to learn that Chazzan Harold will not be reduced to selling blintzes from a pushcart, the Purim prank has continuing effects, some of which are troubling. It has caused tension in my relationship with my beloved sock puppets Huldah and Chaim. I am sure that with time and love all will be well, but the incident raises deep questions concerning the moral and legal standing of puppets, and it is in this regard that I write to you for a teaching.
For specificity of discourse let us focus on sock puppets. At what point in the construction of a sock puppet does it achieve standing in Torah as an autonomous being? At what point does it attain legal standing in the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania? Not that I really care.) Is it when the first eye-button is sown on? Is it when the hand first enters the sock? Does this standing persist when the hand is withdrawn? Huldah believes that it does, but Chaim is not so sure. Suppose that one decides to abandon a sock puppet project before it is complete. Can this be lawful? If so, under what conditions?
In this matter, as in all things, I anticipate your teachings with reverence and delight.
Shlomo the Village Idiot of Narberth
Shalom Shlomo the Idiot,On 03/16/2010 Bala Rebbe said...
The questions you raise regarding sock puppets were hotly debated in the Talmud.
Rav Shammai and Rav Hillel as always, took opposite positions. It was Rab Yochanan ben Sockeye who came up with the compromise position. (For short biographies of these Rabbis see http://www.jewfaq.org/sages.htm )
Rav Shammai held that as soon as one places a sock on ones hand with the intent of making a puppet, that sock has life, for that is the moment of conception.
Rav Hillel held that no single human can create life, and that a sock remains an inanimate object, regardless of how one chooses to imagine otherwise.
Rab Yochanan the son of Sockeye took a moderate position. He held that the sock puppet becomes an autonomous being in step 6 of its creation, the attachment of the wiggly eyes.
(See how to make a sockpuppet at
http://www.ehow.com/how_12570_make-sock-puppet.html )
The Hebrew for sock puppet is "gerev buba". The numerical value of gerev buba is 217.
Therefore the natural life span of a sock puppet is 217 days, day 1 being the attachment of the wiggly eyes. During that period the puppet has life even when there is no hand in it.
However, after 217 days one may close the wiggly eyes, or cover them, and bury the sock.
If one chooses to retain the puppet one may do so, and it then becomes gerev buba zakane, or a Sockpuppet Elder.
Yours in Peace
Bala Rebbe
Shlomo the Idiot's Response:
Shalom Bala Rebbe,
Once again I am staggered by the immensity of your learning. You teach
us that, in the first instance, before transitioning to the status of
elder, the spiritual life of a sock puppet is 217 days. OF COURSE!!! It
must be!
By the Fundamental Theorem of Arithmetic every natural number has a
unique prime factorization. In the case of 217 it is 31 times 7. Now, 31
is 24+7, the number of hours in the day plus the number of days in the
week, which is to say “All Hours” and “All Days.” Thus, we are taught
that life is in the puppet at all times without interruption. The second
factor of 217 is 7, again the number of days of the week!!!. This
emphases to us yet again the previous teaching of the complete, unbroken
continuity of the spiritual life of the sock puppet.
I, a simple village idiot, again thank you most sincerely for the depth
and power of this teaching.
Shalom,
Shlomo, the Village Idiot of Narberth
Previous Posts
09/21/2010 Acknowledging outstanding contributors (Most Recent)05/17/2010 - What If Joseph Had Shared His Coat
04/23/2010 - The Zealots of Israel
03/27/2010 - And God hardened Pharaoh`s heart
02/22/2010 - Chazzan Harold`s Dilemma (Current display)
02/15/2010 - Get Ready for Purim!!
02/09/2010 - Question from a confused Jew
02/05/2010 - Puppets at Beth Am
01/30/2010 - Photo: Rebbe and Arnie chatting
01/25/2010 - Response to Reb Joe Finkelstein
01/11/2010 - Mah Jongg
01/07/2010 - Eagles Prayer Improved Results
01/06/2010 - A Prayer for The Eagles
01/03/2010 - Shalom from the Bala Rebbe
